He knows he's a dad when...

... He finds himself picking chicken curry out of somebody else's ear...

He knows he's a dad when...

... His Sunday also begins at 5.45am...

He knows he's a dad when...

... His Saturday begins at 5.45am...

He knows he's a dad when...

... Bedtime negotiations begin by trading a toothbrush for a moose...

He knows he's a dad when...

... Despite his red/brown colourblindness, he's checking stools for blood...

He knows he's a dad when...

... Picking somebody else's nose and biting their nails becomes infinitely more socially acceptable than picking and biting your own...

He knows he's a dad when...

... The washing-up bowl he has his hands in suddenly reveals a rubber duck in the Queen's Guard uniform swimming in it...

He knows he's a dad when...

... He can state categorically that 'stacking cup number 6' is on the bouncy chair in the kitchen from thirty-two miles away...